Three months in Switzerland. A little truth, for what it's worth.

Sometimes it makes more sense to explain how a thing ended before telling how it began. This is probably because we often learn the lessons on reflection instead of at the time.

I'm still amazed at how calmly I took the news, especially considering it came as a total surprise. Maybe that was it, maybe I was in a complete state of shock. I do remember being aware though, that this was clearly a decision not up for debate, and so for now at least, it would be better to say the minimal amount. The hostility emanating from them was palpable, and I have never seen the value in a slanging match. Not only should we choose our battles, but we should also choose how and when we fight them.

I left the meeting without a job, but having been provided with no satisfactory explanation as to why the decision had been made. The reason given was my inability to meet the demands of the role, and yet they could offer no criticism of the work I had actually done. It is still a sense of injustice which hits hard, such was the disparity between the reality and what they had said. I will, for once, overcome the tendency most of us have for playing down our merits. I had been doing a bloody good job, I worked hard, and I cared. I have strong suspicions that there were inaccurate/misinformed concerns about my mental health which they were unable to voice. I don't imagine they ever will. I have since written a letter, sent as well to the relevant company directors, politely requesting an honest explanation. I am yet to receive a reply, honesty is sadly becoming a rarity these days. I never imagined or intended that the letter would change anything for me. In the grand scheme of things it's a fairly minor injustice, but the only way we change anything is by standing up against even the smallest of wrongs. Otherwise they will just carry on thinking that it is acceptable to treat people that way.

There is a danger though of allowing one decision to cloud our entire judgment of a person, especially when it is a decision that affects us so personally. I even struggle to believe that this particular decision was based on entirely poor motives, maybe just misguided ones. It is all too easy to focus on the negatives, and in doing so lose sight of all the good a person has done and can still do. We rarely gain a complete understanding of any situation, and there may be many things going on in the background that we are totally unaware of. Life is too complex and too commonplace to think that it's all about ourselves. I will stand by my view that this was a wrong decision, but I will not and cannot hold bitterness or resentment towards them anymore. Our humanity must be bigger than that.

It was not easy leaving Switzerland, I loved my job, and I loved (and still love) the many friends I made. To miss people so deeply is the privilege of true friendship, and for that I am thankful. But now I have to move on, taking many positives away with me, though. Perhaps most significantly a reminder of what is important in life. Not money nor a job, but the people we meet, the friends we make, and the experiences that we get to share along the way. It has been, on the whole, a fantastic three months. I feel that I have grown significantly as a person, and contrary to those misassumptions about my state of mind, I have never felt stronger or more confident. I am looking forward to the future, and I am enjoying the view of life from the here and now.

Unexpected time

I have a bit of unexpected time on my hands; something that I will go into at a later date. Wanting to make myself useful I asked a friend, “what do you think is the most important thing we can be doing right now?”  Her reply, without hesitation, was as follows:

 

1)      Writing and sharing

2)      Making a positive difference to one individual

 

I often fall into a way of thinking that suggests only great works and grand gestures can change the world. By doing so I lose sight of the impact we have every single day. It is inescapable that we influence those lives around us, and we all have the choice as to whether this is in a positive or negative way.

 

As to writing and sharing, I had got out of the habit of doing this (at least on a public platform). I was still sending the occasional handwritten letter, but my thoughts had become somewhat occupied by the focus of work. I am finding now though that there is much I want to say, and prompted by my friend, I shall be extending these things to anyone who wishes to read.

 

Take care,

 

K x